What is Divorce Mediation?

Experienced Multifaceted Team Explains How Divorce Mediation Works

Why family mediators provider a viable alternative to family lawyers for Northern Virginia families

Divorce mediation is a distinct alternative to litigation and collaborative divorce. Many divorces are emotionally and financially difficult experiences, with one side typically blaming the other for the divorce and marital problems. The natural instinct is to want to litigate every issue just to get even with the other spouse. But, anger and conflict come with a steep emotional and financial price.

After time for reflection, most couples realize that settling their differences without the divorce attorneys is the better solution. At Divorce Mediation Associates, Ltd., our Northern VA divorce mediators explain the advantages of mediation, how the process works, and then work through the mediation sessions towards firm and stable agreements. Mediation helps to keep children directly out of the glare of court litigation. Effective mediation often leads to better communication, friendship, and respect after the divorce is final.

Our divorce mediators are not divorce lawyers – and that may be better for your needs

Divorce mediation offers you the ability to structure a settlement that works for you and your family. Often times, we can structure a resolution that a court would not consider or may not even have the power to do without the agreement of the parties. Instead of fighting for every asset through your divorce attorney, you and your spouse can create an agreement which suits your unique needs.

Both parties receive ongoing support from a mental health professional to assist in resolving issues of custody, visitation, and in helping you reach a workable, realistic parenting plan. The mental health professional helps to address emotional sensitive issues while utilizing effective communication processes.

In some cases, we may call in a financial expert or accountant to help us creatively resolve financial issues. Often, if you have used a CPA or financial planner in the past, that person may be appropriate to bring to a session to assist us. After all, they know your circumstances form having worked with you over the course of years. Otherwise, we may seek the advice of a trained financial professional if we agree it would be helpful in your circumstances.

Trials and motions tend to make parties form positions and take offense at the positions taken by the other side. You are no longer dealing with just your spouse, but now his or her family law attorney and all the family and friends giving advice while you are financially bleeding and emotionally drained. When you pursue mediation, we are problem solving together so that all parties can live with the resolution under difficult circumstances. When you litigate, you are trying to win against the other party. A more creative – and often more effective – way to resolve your concerns is to find answers that work for both parties and their children. In a divorce situation neither party usually wins. However, we want to help you reach the best solution for your family as it separates and after you become divorced.

If you have children, you want the issues between you to not adversely affect them any more than necessary. We are not going to pretend divorce has no effect on your children, but it can be minimized by sensible, thought-out resolution of the issues between you. Parties who mediate seem to have less animosity or fewer future fights with their spouse than those who went to court.

Mediator vs. lawyer: resolving your disputes more effectively

Our mediation sessions are generally weekly, two-hour sessions that involve the couple and the mediator. Because of their experience and ability to bring in experts when needed, good mediators are able to get the spouses talking and to focus on practical solutions. The lawyers for the spouses are normally not present at the mediation sessions.

Mediation can still be effective even when the spouses start by differing on every issue. Our divorce mediators have helped resolve many high-conflict divorces by calmly addressing the underlying issues, explaining how litigation is costly and time consuming, and persuading the parties that children need their parents to get along well enough to place the children first and their anger last.

At Divorce Mediation Associates, Ltd., we are especially adept at resolving high-asset cases because we are able to suggest trade-offs, compromises, unique positions, and other strategies that often benefit both spouses. These solutions, born from our multi-disciplinary approach to mediation, are often ones that a court could not or would not suggest. You and your spouse end up with a customized agreement that addresses your concerns in a way that works for both of you, so that you may pursue an uncontested divorce later.

Rest assured that confidentiality is a priority. We demand confidentiality because it makes it much easier for both spouses to air differences and concerns. Honest communication is mandatory if the parties are going to reach workable agreements.

Learn how divorce mediation works in Northern Virginia by calling us as soon as possible

Mediated settlements work well because it is the couple that reaches a solution, with the guidance of trusted professionals. When the spouses reach their own agreement, they are vested in making it work. For information about divorce mediation, please call Divorce Mediation Associates, Ltd. at 703-665-7592 or complete our contact form. One of our Northern Virginia family law mediators is ready to help you. We can schedule an introductory meeting with you and your spouse, where we will explain the process and see if we can arrive at an agreement as to how to best proceed for your circumstances.


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