Divorce can bring out the worst in even the best people. And in the age of social media, you can be in a world of trouble before you even realize what you have posted. Maintaining a positive, or at least neutral, social media presence during your divorce is key to upholding your self-respect and accomplishing your needs.
What not to do on social media during your divorce
While you are in the process of dissolving your marriage, you might consider deactivating or “going quiet” on social media. Using social media to broadcast information during a divorce can be tempting. On your worst day, it might take more self-control than you can muster to avoid penning a lengthy rant about how unreasonable your ex is.
Here are a few tips on what not to do on social media during your divorce:
- Avoid “Vague-booking.” Do not post cryptic and negative statuses about even the worst of days. Nothing good can come of seeking attention in a non-direct way, especially on a public forum like Facebook. Acknowledging that you are having a bad day is perfectly fine, but there are plenty of ways to draw attention away from your divorce.
- Do not post incriminating pictures or screenshots from nasty text messages. Especially if you have kids, humiliating your spouse will likely create more harm than is worth the instant gratification it might provide you in a moment of anger. It is always best to take the high road. If you absolutely must share messages your ex is sending you, it is preferable to not show it at all, but process your anger with your attorney, therapist friend, or a caring family member.
- Do not rant about your ex. The rule of thumb is this: Do not post anything online that you don’t want on the front page of The New York Times, especially during a divorce. There is nothing inherently wrong with venting and seeking help or understanding, but avoid doing this online.
- Do not post about your settlement. What would you think if you read about the alimony structure and child support payments from a recently divorced parent in your neighborhood? Always err on the side of discretion; more people can see your social media than you think.
Mediation can decrease your anger. When you know you are being taken seriously and heard, you are less likely to make rookie mistakes online during your divorce proceedings. Social media posts can be used against you in your divorce – and potentially in court. Mediation will hopefully mitigate the vitriol and pain one can feel, or be subject to, during divorce. When you know you are being heard, and that a workable solution for you and your spouse is the outcome you are both working toward, you might be less apt to make a mistake on social media.
At Divorce Mediation Associates, Ltd., we want to work with you and your spouse on effective solutions to common divorce issues, such as the division of marital property, spousal support, and parental access schedules (visitation). Our mediation process emphasizes privacy and civility. Contact us today to learn more about mediation for divorcing couples throughout Northern Virginia. Call us at 703-665-7592 today, or write to us through our contact form.